Yet my fingers, for some reason, appear to be morbidly obese. Not least because I suffer from Sausage Finger Syndrome myself. This week, when an official photo showed the King posing with both hands behind his back, observers suggested he was deliberately hiding them, in shame.įrankly, I wish the world would get over this cruel obsession.
I’m sorry to say that this near-treasonous ridicule shows no signs of abating. “King Charles III Brutally Mocked For His ‘Sausage Fingers’,” it read, “As Monarch Mourns Queen’s Death.”
Surely the worst headline of all, though, came last September on the Express website. “Fears Over Princes Charles’s ‘Swollen Fingers’ in Pub Photo Sees NHS Issue Health Advice,” shrieked the Star in 2021. “Why Does King Charles III Have Red and Swollen Fingers? Doctor Blames ‘Oedema’ for Effect,” gasped the Express last year. More embarrassingly still, the press has often speculated that his doughy digits are the result of some horrifying secret medical condition. “Charles’ sausage fingers” is one of Google’s most popular searches. Photos of his hands are frequently subjected to mockery on social media.
And in 2011, when his wife beat him in a jewellery-making contest during a visit of Tanzania, he sighed that his “sausage fingers” were to blame. In 1982, when William was born, Charles noted in a letter to friends that his son had “sausage fingers just like mine”. He’s mentioned it both in private and in public. I’m talking, of course, about his fingers.Įven though His Majesty has always taken care to watch his weight – he only eats fruit and seeds for breakfast, and never has lunch – his hands are startlingly chubby. All his life, the King has been very self-conscious about a certain part of his body.
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